A federal judge is considering ordering immediate naturalization of would-be citizens, with no background investigations or document checks.

Thanks to the stroke of a legalistic pen, the Chinese have accomplished what all Michael Jackson's surgeries have failed to do: changed conclusively from one color to another.

Toddlers who say "yuck" when given flavorful foreign food may be exhibiting racist behavior, a British government-sponsored organization says.

Remember Mom's advice? "Respect must be earned!"

Our bureaucrats are not morons; quite the contrary.

It's simply common sense that the nicer a life you have if you don't work, the more people will choose not to work and the pickier they will be about what job they might be willing to accept.

A capitalist will sell you the rope to hang himself.

The Transportation Security Administration? Hardly. Thousands Standing Around? Not that either...

Illegal immigrants HAVE NO CIVIL RIGHTS. In fact, legal immigrants have no civil rights. Just ask the dictionary...

It is a wonderful thing when truly stupid ideas return to bite the people that promoted them.