Al Qaeda has developed a new tactic that allows suicide bombers to breach even the tightest security... Taking a trick from the narcotics trade - which has long smuggled drugs in body cavities - Asieri had a pound of high explosives, plus a detonator inserted in his rectum.
This was a meticulously planned operation with al Qaeda once again producing something new: this time, the Trojan bomber. [emphasis added]
And the BBC dryly finishes the tale:
Miraculously the prince survived with minor injuries, but footage emerging this week shows a sizeable crater in the concrete floor and the bomber's body blown in half.
It is believed the force of the blast went downwards which is why only the bomber died. [emphasis added]
Most Scragged articles begin with a news event which triggers a suitably eye-catching title. Exactly what counts as eye-catching is the subject of considerable internal debate which all are welcome to join in the comments section. This story was no exception in that the editorial discussions produced a veritable avalanche of potential titles.
But to our frustration, our discussions didn't produce an actual article. Whatever there was to say about this latest affray in world affairs tended to be captured pithily within each title itself. Besides, most of the obvious talking points have already been said elsewhere.
Instead of attempting to squeeze harder, therefore, we figured it would be a better use of our time simply to post all the titles we could think of. Here are a few of ours; add your own in the comments area.
Prince Nayef and the Case of the Exploding Anus
The Wrecking Rectum
Suicide Bomber Sticks Weapon Where Head Usually Resides
Good Reason Found for Gays in the Military
Al Qaeda Plan Backfires
Al Qaeda Achieves Liftoff
Bin Laden Acolyte Packs Semtex, Not Fudge
Suicide Bomber Gives "Up Yours!" New Meaning
Trojan Bomber Misses Target
IED: Inserted Explosive Device
The Terrorist Suppository Threat
When Suppositories are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Suppositories
Blow It Out Your .....
The Recto-Weapon Inversion
When Ya Gotta Go, Ya Gotta Go!
Ignite, Sweet Prince, and Flights of Virgins Bear Thee to Thy Rest!
Who Flung Dung?
It Doesn't Always Hit The Fan
Al Qaeda Obtains Weapons of Ass Destruction
Muslim Fundamentalist Threat in the Fundament
Mecca, We Have Liftoff!
Al Qaeda Operative Rips Himself A New One
Emergency Bulk Order of Rubber Gloves for TSA
Meanwhile, the Prince's security detail is hard at work devising new defenses. As for the rest of us, well, we'll just have to fly by the seat of our pants and hope it all comes out OK.
Over the past five years, the editors have been secretly working on a book that summarizes the fundamental viewpoints of Scragged.